willpower and new year

With the new year almost here and resolutions flying all around us, I have given thought to a book I am reading that has struck a cord, answered a prayer, sent up flags what ever or however you want to say it...got my attention. The book is titled "the richest man in Babylon" by George S Clason and here is the part that has captivated me:

"Will power!" retorted Arkad. "What nonsense. Do you think will power gives a man the strength to lift a burden the camel cannot carry, or to draw a load the oxen cannot budge?

Will power is but the unflinching purpose to carry a task you set for yourself to fulfillment.

If I set for myself a task, be it ever so trifling, I shall see it through.

How else shall I have confidence in myself to do important things?

Should I say to myself, 'For a hundred days as I walk across the bridge into the city, I will pick from the road a pebble and cast it into the stream,' I would do it. If on the seventh day I passed by without remembering, I would not say to myself, Tomorrow I will cast two pebbles which will do as well.'

Instead, I would retrace my steps and cast the pebble. Nor on the twentieth day would I say to myself, 'Arkad, this is useless. What does it avail you to cast a pebble every day? Throw in a handful and be done with it.'

No, I would not say that nor do it.

When I set a task for myself, I complete it.

Therefore, I am careful not to start difficult and impractical tasks, because I love leisure."

Another author who has also pinged my interest has said almost the same thing, when we agree to do a task, we do it. If we choose to not do it, we, in essense, determine that the person we have committed toward is not worthy of the time to complete the task. So if I promise myself, then what does that say about how I feel about myself. If I have promised to someone else, what does that say about how I feel about that other person? Thought provoking eh.

This year, as I sat in tithing settlement with my bishop, we discussed the idea of living with a budget. I told him that I was looking for a new resolution and that would be a good one for me. I thought it over and considered all the things that I need to learn to budget...my finances of course, my time would be good, my calories definately, then I considered what things I wanted to include in my time allotment. I want to increase some of my talents, hone them to be precise, so by promising to devote a certain amount of time each day to that talent is in essesnce my pebble in the stream, my exercise program is another pebble in the stream. So, I've determined some ways to make changes over time. The time limit is this year coming, so for 2014 I resolve to do my 15 minutes of morning exercises M-F, work on my drawing skill for 15 minutes each day M-F, practice painting techniques for 5 hours each week and work on ways to stay within my established financial budget. (the secret to the financial budgeting is to pay the Lord, then pay myself then budget the rest, read Clason's book!)

I've laid it out there, now I will show how well I will treat myself and how much integrity I possess by how well I complete these resolutions this year. 

Let the journey be a glorious one!

Back on the horse

Getting back on the horse seems like an appropriate phrase for where I am today. I have not really been a fan of horse riding so the analogy fits my apparent reluctance to step back into my program. I told one of my girls that I was absolutely converted to this program...spiritually, I'm just having trouble transfering it to the physical realm. (Isn't that true for most of us?)

What does that mean exactly? I'm not sure. I know that I hide, or want to hide when trouble comes visiting. I tend to sit on the sideline and observe the action when I feel threatened and that is an all consuming behavior when it happens. I pull in emotionally and physically during times of stress. I guess it would be correct to say that I hide in small places, secure in my ability to protect my most vulnerable parts. And it would be logical to state that in such a tight place, the ability to stretch out and move is greatly inhibited. Therefore, once the threat has removed, the coming out and resuming of life can once again return but it does take a bit of time to get the kinks out from squatting in that safe place for so long.

So, I am out. I went to the gym today. I weighed and measured and was pleased to see that the damage was not so great as I had feared.  Over all, when I last measured, I had lost 11 inches overall and 7 lbs. This little detour has cost me a 3.3 lb gain and 6.5 inches.

Sometimes it just feels like I am fighting myself. So many things I want to do are just harder because of my girth, yet, reducing the girth is such an uphill battle I wonder if it is even possible to win.

BUT, whether it is possible or not, that is my lot and I have determined to persevere in the course at least for this year. I will get back on that blasted horse and I will ride it til next September and we will see what the journey brings. It is still my journey and I am still committed to taking it to the end, just the way I planned it. I will do the program and all I have promised to do because if it is to bee, it is up to mee!

Conversion

One of the definitions of conversion is the act or an instance of converting or the process of being converted.  Convert means to cause to change in form, character or function. Synonyms include change, transformation, metamorphosis, etc. The other definition is the act of scoring an extra point or points after having scored a touchdown.

Both definitions imply an effort being expended to achieve a goal. Neither one implies that the desired goal is always achieved in every effort. I hold on tightly to that message. This journey has been met with uphill challenges, smooth sailing days and also with dangerous waters followed by shear drops.

As is often quoted at my house..."Don't tell me, we're about to go over a huge waterfall"
                                                    " YEP"
                                                    "Sharp rocks at the bottom?"
                                                    "Most likely"
                                                    "Bring it on"

I love that movie and all the characters in it who each are on their own journey. (The Emperor's new groove) So I remind myself that this is a journey toward my conversion to a new way of life. Eating healthy choices "MOST" of the time and finding ways to move and strengthen my body. I keep telling myself that is the journey, but still, not so secretly, I want to change my appearance too. It will come, but I must stay true to my program. I chose it, it did not force itself upon me, I CHOSE IT!

So each day I am pushing to encourage myself to find ways to stay with the program. Move more, eat better, drink water. Sounds simple enough. So, today, I choose me, I choose to live the program, I choose to become converted to a better way of living. And if Chris was here today, I know he would say..."I CHOOSE YOU!" so I choose me too!

weight and measure day

Accountability can be dreaded or desired depending on which side of the line we are standing upon. If we have been true to ourselves and our goals, then this day is one in which we can proudly state "come what may and love it, if we have been less than true to ourselves and those goals then we may approach the accountability as a dreaded judgement waiting to see how far from the mark we have strayed. Me, today? Well, I didn't dread it but in all honesty, honesty to myself and those who are my cheer givers, I have not been strictly true to my program thus not honestly true to myself either. Some of those old weaknesses peaked in and I opened the door to them like they were old friends. Truth be told, they are not my friends, these old behaviors have no place in my new life and as I look back over the week, I can see that they do not support my goals. In fairness though, they don't hold revered places anymore like they once did; ( the shrines have been knocked down so to speak) so our visits will definately be shorter in duration, less intense because I have found better friends to turn to in need, and the frequency of visits have diminished. So all in all, I must say I am moving forward --boldly going where no Dessy has gone before!

Okay, now the numbers.  I am down one half lb, down 4 inches (the machine had a glich and said I had lost 3 inches in height as well); body fat down 2%, fat lbs down 4.4 lbs and BMI is down by 0.4 pts. All in all, a down day! Which means it was a Down week, which means I was truer to myself than I had thought! Can I do better, HECK YES! But, lessons have been learned and changes are being made, reinforcements are holding and the battle is still being fought. So to this day; I say "Measure, smeasure, come what may...and love it.

Back to the Gym

I've been absent from the gym for several weeks, wedding, trip to Florida, trip to Texas, infection in leg, sick from medicine to cure infection in leg, bla bla bla...at any rate, today I went back. My good gal pal who is doing the buddy system with me said she was going back so I decided I needed to make friends with the place again too. We walked up together (that is always my favorite part, being with my friend!) and back and while there; we went our separate ways to do our own things. I was feeling pretty good about my treadmill progress so I figured I should be able to crank out 15 minutes on the track with no trouble. I walked the first half to get the feel of it, plugged in my earphones and started chugging away. I made it around 2.5 times before this guy (old guy...about my age!) walks past me. WALKS past me and leaves me in his dust. Not to worry I told myself, I could walk too if I wanted but I wanted to jog and that is what I am doing. Only one foot on the ground at a time, that is my definition of jog! Then another person zooms past me followed by another. Finally after going around the track one more time, I slowed to a walk. That is pretty sad, my walk wasnt really that much slower than my jog. I went on to the circuit of weight machines and then one more lap around the track, walking. I felt a little deflated. Although, I did make it for 10 minutes of my 15 minutes so I guess it wasn't all that bad for my first public outing as a "jogger". I know that if I keep going I will eventually be able to zoom around the track like those other gym goers and I dream of that day. I know it will happen, until then, I will just be the albatross that clomps around the gym, steadfast and true just like that little engine who climbed the hill. "I think I can, I think I can, I T H I N K I C A N....

Endure

This week is my 15 minute jog week. I made it to 3/4 mile today and felt pretty good about myself and the accomplishment. Clearly I am not burning up the pavement yet and I may never get to that status, but I am 3/4 mile further on my journey than when I started. I am one month into this journey and there have been several distractions along the way. Distractions are not always evil or unwanted, they just distract us from our target. Distractions can be short moments of appriciation or they can be stop dead in the road occasions. These distractions can also come in a form that takes us off the path to a whole new destination or back to an old way of life if we are not vigilant in our efforts to reclaim our goal. We can choose to learn from them or we can choose to let that opportunity slide by in ignorance. I chose to look at my distraction and evaluate how it can work to my advantage. I know there is always a solution if we are really intent on accomplishing something and the people who love us will rally around us and cheer us on too. So; no matter the distraction that comes my way, I am still committed to completing my course! I will endure to the end.

Flynn or Eugene

Yesterday while I was visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Calabash, the topic of Disney dopplegangers came up. Mr. Calabash was aware that our family was known to choose one of the "royals" that we most identified with and assume a shared identity with that character. He mentioned that he fancied himself as Flynn Rider, dashing young hero who may be just a bit outside of the law, but big hearted. We chuckled along with him, talked a bit more about towers, castles and fiinding our dreams then we went our separate ways to get on with our individual tasks for the day.

It has stuck with me though. Who are we really? We aspire to be whomever we have the audacity to be. Don't we try to emulate those whose character qualities are such that we admire? Don't we work to look like the kind of people others would feel safe around and open for conversation? Haven't we been told that we should shake off the flaws that cumber us and embrace better ways? Yes! Of course!

At this stage of the relationship, I don't know if the statement he made was just in jest or if there was some underlying desire to fit in with the clan. If it is the latter, then welcome aboard. We welcome you with open arms and are glad to have your richness of character joined with ours. If not, well, it was good to know that we are recognized for our desire to look for qualities that can help us find the royal inside us and magnify it along our lifes' path.

Come what may and Love it

Some years ago I participated in an art class held at the local college. Our assignment was to do a self portrait. As I worked on that portrait, I channeled all the hostility, self loathing and bitterness I was feeling about myself into that painting. I guess it was sort of a reverse Dorian Gray moment. Even the teacher commented that while the picture had a likeness of myself, it certainly wasnt complimentary. I took it home and my children saw it. One daughter remarked that I must have been having a really bad day.  I guess I had been, but until that moment, it hadnt occurred to me that I was taking it out on myself.

In a General Conference address years ago, Elder Worthlin made a statement, "Come what may and love it". That sentiment has hovered over me like a protective umbrella. It reminds me that no matter the situation or the choices of those around me, life is going to happen. I can choose to love where I am, move or wallow. The choice is mine to make and once made; the attitude that follows is also mine. So, with that said, I will report the results of this weeks weigh-in.

I am down by 4 lbs, yes, good news! But the picture gets a little frazzled after that. Since I do my weigh ins at the university gym, the biomeasure scale gifts me with additional information. My lbs of fat increased from 87.7 to 101.1--that is a 13.4 lb increase. Also, when I did my body measurements I had gained 0.5 inches. Those numbers are not deal breakers, and it just reinforces the fact that I need to be more careful on my plan. Having guests in the house has shaken my resolve to exercise and eat the 5 meals as prescribed. I have seen others fight this fight and lose to this stumbling block. I never thought I would join them, but it just shows we are all in the same boat so to speak. I watched them overcome and I will overcome as well. I can see myself in my minds eye and I am slim and healthy. So I am working to keep my eye on the prize. I plan to say to these "hurtles"... Come what may, and love it!

Answered Prayers

Last night I listened to the Presidency of the General Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints tell us about how we are a covenant loving people and that as we care for each other we are demonstrating our covenants made at baptism. I was thrilled to listen to these great women uplift us and encourage us as we sat spell bound in the chapel of the Stake Center. I was feeling very appriciative of the blessings I have received, especially the most recent blessings.

My doorbell rang Friday afternoon. I had just sat down to have some lunch and was surprised to hear someone at the door. I was even more surprised and amazed when I saw standing directly in front of me, on my very doorstep none other that my beloved Mrs. Calabash! If wishes had been nickels, I would have been a millionaire in that moment.

As it turned out, she and her husband were between engagements and had time to visit afterall. I invited them in and to stay for a while. We were able to speak openly and put to rest some misunderstandings that had kept us apart. I believe it was a relief on all sides. I just know that I am grateful to once again have the company of one who has been gone and now is here. I am hopeful that this is the beginning of a long and lasting relationship with both Mrs. and Mr. Calabash.

God does answer prayers. I do believe in miracles. And to all my other sweet girls and boys; good night, wherever you are!

Safe Havens and Sabotage

Today is weigh-in day. Last week I missed weigh-in because I overslept. Today I was ready. So the results you say? Okay, first the numbers then I will expound on the lessons I have learned. My weight went up by 2.7 lbs. I have been working hard these past two weeks on my exercises and my jogging to strengthen myself even if the diet portion hasn’t been followed with fidelity. That said, here are my other stats: BMI went down by 0.4, percentage of body fat went down by 10%, and the number of fat lbs that I carry went from 108 to 87.7. So I will not allow myself to be down about these numbers. Also I lost another 4 inches. Yes, the lbs went up and were most likely the result of the bag of chocolate candy that became my best friend this week but still, not bad considering.

So now to the lessons I have learned. My coach, Chris Powell, has stated that if we must cheat on the program we must do it outside of our home. We are never to bring the accursed temptation into our safe haven. I broke the rule. I brought the demon bag into my safe haven and it tempted me and won, all week. Now I understand that the not in the house rule is for my protection and I will follow it with integrity and fidelity from now on. What brought this on you may ask, well, I had an interaction with the hubby of Mrs. Calabash this week. It was not nice nor was it promising. Basically he let me know that he did not consider myself and the hubster to be any family of his or his wife and that we were not worth the time for him to educate us on how to live a better life (according to his new philosophy and religion, which he invented himself and for a price is willing to enlighten the world). I wanted so badly to speak with my little girl, I wanted to hear her voice, soothe her fears and calm her world but I wasn’t allowed past the guard-dog who calls himself her husband. Thus, the chocolate; I’m grateful my body didn’t revolt with all that sugar!

What then does that have to do with sabotage? You may have guessed that Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

In the Netherlands in the 15th century when workers would throw their sabots (wooden shoes) into the wooden gears of the textile looms to break the cogs, fearing the automated machines would render the human workers obsolete.

I was playing into the adversary’s plan to weaken me but I have turned and am fighting back with faith in myself to pick myself up and keep moving on with the good strides that I have made. I look forward to the next weigh-in day of accountability. I also look forward to sending loving messages to Mrs. Calabash through the only means available to me, text messages and facebook messages letting her know how much I love her and admire her for all her strengths and talents. I pray she will one day be able to see that her family misses her unique spirit so she can visit with us again. Until then, Good-night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

Law of Moses or Law of Eminent Domain

The power to take private property for public use by a state, municipality, or private person or corporation authorized to exercise functions of public character, following the payment of just compensation to the owner of that property. legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, nor his man servant, nor his maid servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbors. Exodus 20:17

Which is for the greater good? Sometimes that question is hard to answer. I read stories about the pioneers in Nauvoo who were chased out of their homes by persons who had the law on their side. The saints needed to go through those trials and those trials defined them. They ultimately became stronger in so many different ways and learned lessons that would not have been learned any other way. Just like the Nephites who had to leave their home because some of their own family desired to kill them. They packed their tents and whatsoever things were possible and departed into the wilderness. They did observe to keep the judgments and the statutes and the commandments of the Lord according to the Law of Moses. And God was with them and they did prosper exceedingly.

What makes people want to hurt someone else? What causes someone to harden their heart against someone?  Ultimately we can only do what we can do. We have no control over the feelings of someone else, as long as we have an open heart and mind we can solve any problem. Both sides need to be heard and feel safe for trust to grow. When one side is closed off then it is difficult to reconcile any differences. We all make mistakes and deserve a chance to repent of those actions. I just hope that someday the ones I love will allow me the chance to work out any of the problems that have occurred. It is hard to feel rejected by the ones you love. It's also hard when so many efforts have been made then used against you or not recognized. Only time will tell I suppose. But for now it doesn't make the heart-pain go away. That will take time too. 

And it came to Pass

As the scripture says, “And it came to pass”, it doesn’t say that it came to stay!

This morning as the hubster was preparing to leave the house for the day, he encountered a really large spider in its web strung across the exit from our glass doorway. Being the superman that he is; he just grabbed the broom and went out another way then cleared the obstacle from the path so that I would not be encumbered if I chose to go out that door. Like I said, “SUPERMAN!” 

Sometimes we have obstacles in our paths that cause us to make choices that we shouldn’t make and we make that choice maybe because it is easier, or less scary or who knows what reason we give but ultimately it is not the path we need to be taking. I realized today that the spider was my wake up call to literally wake up earlier everyday. I have chosen the easy route this past week and have just gotten up when I felt like it. (Usually when I hear the hubster turn on the shower). I commit to myself today that I will set my alarm and get up by 5:30 A.M. every day on Monday thru Friday; Saturday and Sunday can be my sleep in til 7 days if I want because I don’t have an exercise appointments on those days.  I’ve done pretty well staying on track with the diet and exercise for the most part. Water consumption still is an uphill effort, I manage about a half gallon everyday but still that is short by about a half gallon. Since I overslept today, I missed my weigh-in at the gym and had a call come in during my workout session. All that could have been remedied by getting up at 5:30! I did manage to take a measurement though and I am happy to report that I am down 4.5 inches in my goal to loose 47 inches. Yeah! Only 42.5 inches to go,  it is progress in the right direction!

Just like the pioneers who learned so many life lessons while crossing the country to get to their promised land, I am making my journey. Some days may be fraught with obstacles to overcome. Mornings may come way too soon and the effort may at times seem overwhelming, but this is my journey and I am determined to see it to the end. I know I will have tough choices to make but I trust that my faith will help me chose the right path so that I will reach my own promise land.

Prodigal

a person who spends money in a recklessly extravagant way.

a person who leaves home and behaves recklessly, but later makes a repentant return.

Our scriptures tell a parable of three men living in a home and thus three perspectives on an event that happens there. One of the men seeks to take his share and leave home to live in the world as he desires. One chooses to stay at home and work for the other man who happens to be the father of both men. The one who chose to leave spends his share of the monies in a reckless and extravagant manner then chooses to go home again to work for his father again knowing that his will be an offering of service without gain. The man who chose to stay is not thrilled that his brother has returned because their father has welcomed the other man back with a feast and gifts. This man still has his inheritance, still has his place in the family and yet is unsettled by the show toward the other man. No where in the parable does it talk of the reaction of the women in the home. I would like to believe that the mother shed many tears upon hearing her son’s decision to leave home for parts unknown. The sisters whom he left must have also been bereft over his departure and so here is how I see their part in this story.

The father sees his son coming from a long way off and calls to his servants to prepare a feast. The women in the home cry for joy as well. They all are so overjoyed to have this beloved one home again that they bustle about getting his bed refreshed and ready. They set out clean clothes and prepare a bath with sweet smelling soap and a soft towel to dry himself. They seek to find the ingredients for his favorite dishes and hurry about to prepare them, all in the interest of letting this loved one know how much they have missed his presence.

I’m sure there is much about the parable that I have not understood, but by trying to liken it to myself, this was the only thing I could perceive. As women, we love those whom we nurture and never stop loving them even if they choose different paths that take them away from us. As I listened to Elder Hollands words today about how to help one who has strayed, his counsel was that most often the help comes in the form of a third party. It will not be me who receives the prompting to help this loved one, it will be someone else. I have felt this principle from the moment my prodigal left home and I know it is true. So I have begun to pray for those who will receive the promptings that will bring her home again. Elder Holland also said to keep a 3 x 5 card handy to write any promptings down on so they won’t be lost. Then when we have that free moment to act upon it we will remember what we had been prompted earlier to do. Sister Holland said that we all have the spirit of Christ in us. Even when we think we aren’t doing what we need to be doing, we still have that spirit inside us because He put it there and He knows us.

So I pray for those who will be the rescuers of my prodigal and I pray for strength to follow the promptings to help rescue someone else’s prodigal. That I may bring joy back into their lives. I know that the light of Christ burns bright in all my loved ones and will shine through the darkness for us to find our way home to He who loves us all.

Put your Shoulder to the Wheel

The image is that of an old-fashioned farm wagon or cart that has become stuck in the mud. The way to get the thing to move is to push it, and one would literally put one's shoulder against the wheel in order to give the most force to the effort.

This journey I’m taking sometimes feels like it is going uphill and that my wagon is slogged down. So I ask myself, what is the muck that is slowing my progress and how can I put my shoulder to the wheel to get it moving again? I’m doing my exercises daily, I’m staying on my diet program yet something has been nagging at me. Sometimes it isn’t that there is a mucky way, it’s just that the road is on a steep incline and the need for new energy is necessary to continue. I think that is more like what I am facing. I received revelation a few weeks back that I needed to get to know the neighbor ladies. I am sure they are all sweet wonderful women but I got stuck in the road to extending an invitation to lunch with me. I just want an opportunity for us to get to know each other. Yesterday, I had help. One of those sweet ladies was walking her dog and waved “hi” to me. That was my opening, I told her what I wanted to do and she enthusiastically encouraged me to make it happen. I felt a surge of strength pass through me, and my wagon moved forward just a bit. Empowered with the notion that all the women would feel as this lady did, I walked across the street, up to her door and knocked on it. I explained what I wanted to do and she was thrilled. Ahhhh, more joy filled my heart. Finally I walked down to the last house and knocked on her door. Her husband answered. I timidly asked if I could speak to his wife, he let me in and called to her. I had never met this woman in all the years I have lived here. My son used to play at this house and I had never met her, my husband knew the family, but I did not. I entered the room, told her who I was and explained my mission. She was delighted! Now I am three for three and so relieved to have that part over. We all agreed that the lunch would be in 2 weeks. That way everyone had time to arrange schedules etc so we could spend time learning about each other.

I’m excited for this new growth opportunity. I love the lessons and strength that my daughters have taught and demonstrated for me. I find courage and a renewed drive to carry on after talking to each of them. These are amazing women! Yes, even you Mrs. Calabash! It took real courage to stick to your convictions and go your own way. You have always demonstrated great inner strength; I love you. I miss you and I would love to spend some time with you.

To all my girls, good night, wherever you are!

Choice and Accountaility

There are many choices we can make every day, almost every minute and I choose to be more fit and in better health. I choose to follow this exercise and diet plan and I do it for me. I have found that I love my breakfasts of cottage cheese and fruit. It provides protein in the cottage cheese and carbs in the fruit. Sometimes I choose fiber One shredded wheat and milk, same thing, carbs and protein. Mostly I choose fruit as my carb because I like that bit of sweet with my meals and it is perfectly acceptable on this plan. Getting in a gallon of water is still a little bit of a challenge though. I am getting more water than I had been and so I am on the right path.

The exercises are coming as well. Today I did 40 push ups (still granny style), 40 bench dips (kind of a backward pushup) and 30 shoulder presses using 5 lb weights, all within my 9 minute time allotment. Yesterday I surprised myself by being able to jog for 2.5 minutes. My daughter Ginger gave me some great advice, she said, “start slow, make it a jog version of your walking pace at first) So, I did, and crazy thing, I loved it! My accountability will come at the end of October when she takes me out running with her and I will do my first 3 miler with her. (I wonder how many minutes that will take?) I know I can practice on my treadmill and track the distance and I am looking forward to it.

I feel so blessed to have found this program and many other great things such as the gospel of Jesus Christ and the restoration of His church. I love knowing that there is a greater and more loving and generous power to guide me and teach me and help me become the me I will enjoy spending time being.

I love my family, my girls and my boys. I also love Mrs. Calabash and I pray for her every day that she may find the happiness she seeks.

Blessings in Disguise

(today I made 3 complete rounds in my shaper circuit)

Getting up by 6, having my shaper exercise circuits done and completing breakfast were the first orders of the day. These don’t sound like much of a challenge but for someone who has gotten used to sleeping til the eyelids open, the sound of an alarm is a rude awakening. My shaper circuit for today was to complete 5 squats, 10 sit-ups and 15 marches consecutively and consistently until my 9 minutes were up. I did it!

Some years ago, a patriarch told me that I would see many blessings in my life, even blessings in disguise. Ever since then I have been on a blessing treasure hunt. Some blessings seem easy enough to identify, when I am distressed and comfort comes, that is an easy blessing to recognize. It occurred to me this morning as I was struggling to complete my final circuit, this is most definitely one of those disguised blessing that had been mentioned. My mind traveled to the struggles of the saints as they crossed the country in often-deplorable conditions, bodies tired and minds weary to make for them a better life. Isn’t that exactly what I want to as well?  I have read accounts written by those heroic pioneers of how they would never trade the experiences or hardships for any other way because they came to know God in the trials. That is what I want too. I want to come to know my Heavenly Father so well that I will feel certain that I will recognize His voice when He calls me. I want to bend my will to His and come to understand the mysteries as well as my puny brain can comprehend and I want to become as good as I can be. So if waking up at 6 and doing my circuits will get me there then I say “Let’s get at it girl, what are you waiting for?”

To those of you who are rooting for me, thank you. For those of you who are praying for me, God bless you as well. And for Mrs. Calabash, I miss you and wish you much happiness where ever you are.

Promises to Keep

Recently I came across a book written by a man who studies fitness and has made it his goal to help people reach their fitness, emotional and personal goals by committing them to make promises to themselves that they can and will achieve. Chris Powell is his name and while I have never met the man, and most likely never will, the words he has written ring true to me and I have committed to myself…I have promised myself and the girl in the photo above, that I will honor the promises that I am making here. Change is sometimes hard, recognizing myself as deserving of these changes can be a slippery slope but finding that to not honor the promises would trample my integrity gives me strength. So, here are my promises to myself and that cute, sweet girl in the photo.

Promises that I will keep!

3 food promises I make to myself are:

            1.  I will eat three meals and two snacks everyday (1200 -1400 calories daily)

2.  Pack each day’s snacks and lunch in the morning when I am fresh and motivated and have    dinner planned.

3. Eat a piece of fruit everyday

3 body promises I make to myself are:

1.     I will do five minutes of cardio every day and my ten minute shapers everyday

2.     Take a brisk morning walk for energy

3.     Get up and walk around for five minutes every hour & and drink water

3 mind promises I make to myself are:

1.     Look myself in the mirror everyday and say, “I am worth it!”

2.     Count my days accomplishments each night – in my interview with the Lord.

3.     Allow myself to say, “No thank you, I don’t eat this.”

To some this may seem easy, ridiculous or maybe you are looking at this and saying, “You go girl! I want to join you in making goals too.” If you are of the latter, then, welcome aboard. It is my plan to become so good at these goals that I can make new ones and progress toward the restitution and restoration that I desire.

I recognize that I will never look like the twenty year old girl in that photo ever again, but, if I can look like a 60 year old version of her, then I will have met my goal! To all my supporters, thank you! And to Mrs. Calabash, I love you, and I wish you well on your journey, wherever you are.

One,Two, Three pair o' Pears

The hubster came in Saturday to tell me that we had pears almost ripe on our pear tree out front. I was really surprised because that poor little tree has been threatening to die on us for the last three years. I had to see for myself. Sure enough, there were six pears growing nicely on that poor, sickly little tree. I am really looking forward to harvesting those little beauties and enjoying them with him.

Yesterday, Sunday provided a wonderful spiritual feast for myself just as I had expected it would. I read in section 77 of the Doctrine and Covenants and it was revealed to me that it is true that all dogs go to heaven. In fact, all animals will go to their own paradise according to the wisdom of God. I was thrilled to learn this.  I also learned during the talks and lessons I attended about the priesthood and the blessings that can come to us by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I learned how the priesthood of God can be better accessed by the women of our faith.  Some of these blessings are so amazing that it is hard to take it in, but I am grateful to a loving Father in Heaven for helping me to better understand. I am still just a child learning at His knee and am grateful for the mentoring.

My diet and exercise program is going well thus far. Drinking my 128 ounces of water everyday is the biggest challenge thus far. So I figured that if I broke the day down into the number of hours I am awake each day and divide them into the number of cups needed to drink, I should come up with a way to properly hydrate without having to run to the ladies room every minute. I discovered needing to drink 16 cups of water divided over 16 hours that I am awake each day. Simple! I will drink a cup an hour. I’ll let you know how it works!

I thanked a friend of mine for showing up in my dream Saturday night. I was feeling low and lonely when I retired to bed, then I dreamed that she and her family had orchestrated a flashmob to show me how much I am loved. I emailed her and shared my dream, thanking her for her influence in my life and the happiness I felt after the dream. She responded that she wished she could have enjoyed the dancing and singing but she was happy that our Heavenly Father had chosen her family to let me know how much I am loved.  I am grateful for my friends and family everywhere. And to Mrs. Calabash, good night, wherever you are.

Onward and UPward

Some days come with disappointment; today is one of those days. I had received word from Mrs. Calabash, a lady I adore, that she was in the area and planned to stop in for a visit. Yesterday she let me know that her schedule wouldn’t permit the time and on the wings of that announcement came disappointment. I haven’t seen this lady for over a year and I was hoping for a bit of restoration of the relationship from long ago. It was not meant to bee.

As for my program, today is a high carb day, each meal will have a carb portion, a protein portion, a flavoring portion and unlimited nonstarchy veggies but no fats. So breakfast was 1 slice Ezekiel bread spread with plain nonfat greek yogurt sprinkled with about a third of an individual size serving bag of xilitol. Because hydration is so crucial, I mixed strawberry banana orange drink powder into my 2 quart drink bottle that Lucy gave me when she visited this summer. That is half my daily liquid intake so I’m excited to slurp that all morning and into the afternoon. Since I get a full cup of greek yogurt as my protein, and fruit as a carb, I’m making a smoothie for my 2 snack meals then salad with salmon for my lunch and dinner. (Have I mentioned that I love fish?) I will get the hubster to take a walk with me this evening to get in my exercise and count this as another day living the new program. Of course that only covers the physical restitution part of my 4 R’s so I will take time to read the Relief Society lesson for tomorrow as well as the Sunday School lesson so that I will be spiritually prepared to soak in all the good stuff that the spirit wants to share with me tomorrow thus being prepared to take advantage of the revelation “R”.

For our Saturday project, the hubster and I plan to work on beautifying the new driveway. Finishing the pergola which is just posts in the ground now. I have plenty of greenery to spread around for landscaping so taking advantage of that blessing will save money, but it is supposed to be really hot today so I’m not sure how much of that will be done. And, taking down my beloved pine tree that died due to well, I’m not real sure why it died, but it did. I hope to replace it next spring. 

And that is the days plan, so as Jimmy Durante used to say "Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are."

4 R Days

Thirty-nine years ago today, I married my best friend.  We have followed our hearts and have shared trials and joys along the way and as often happen in life, we lose things and collect things during our journey. While the road has not always been easy, it has been ours to either enjoy or not. We have chosen to enjoy.

My personal journey that begins today is about restoration, revelation, repentance and restitution. Not to get too serious here, these are all good words. These are words that can build character and help to reach new goals and provide greater insights into understanding my true character as the person that God the father knows I can be.

Thirty-nine years ago, I weighed 80 lbs less than I do today. I was active and loved being out in nature, appreciating the beauty of the world. After raising 6 children and building several houses along the way, I have also accumulated a lifestyle that is not my ideal. I want this journey to be about preparing for the rest of my life. I’m encouraging myself to shed the weight, loose the inches, build my body and spirit up so that I can once again enjoy the wonders of this world the way I did many years ago.  So what is the plan? It is simple, I’m out of bed by 6 A.M. then exercise, plan my food and lift my spirit by feasting on the scriptures. Today I did 3 shape and size circuits that consisted of 10 squats and 10 push-ups (granny style) and 10 squats then 10 sit-ups. My sit-ups are an embarrassment but I have hope they will improve over time. Breakfast consisted of Fiber One shredded wheat and 2% milk. The rest of my 5 daily meals today will be low carb so I am planning on making tuna salad for 3 meals (I love tuna!) and pork roast with veggies for our anniversary dinner. I also had the pleasure of walking with my dear friend today so my exercise is done for today! So on to showering, dressing, scripture study, having my personal interview with God then hitting the items on my to do list. The 4 R’s will all be covered today I’m sure and perhaps I will share some of the ways they manifested when I make my next posting.

First step

They say the journey of a million miles starts with just one step. This is to be my journey.