Conversion

One of the definitions of conversion is the act or an instance of converting or the process of being converted.  Convert means to cause to change in form, character or function. Synonyms include change, transformation, metamorphosis, etc. The other definition is the act of scoring an extra point or points after having scored a touchdown.

Both definitions imply an effort being expended to achieve a goal. Neither one implies that the desired goal is always achieved in every effort. I hold on tightly to that message. This journey has been met with uphill challenges, smooth sailing days and also with dangerous waters followed by shear drops.

As is often quoted at my house..."Don't tell me, we're about to go over a huge waterfall"
                                                    " YEP"
                                                    "Sharp rocks at the bottom?"
                                                    "Most likely"
                                                    "Bring it on"

I love that movie and all the characters in it who each are on their own journey. (The Emperor's new groove) So I remind myself that this is a journey toward my conversion to a new way of life. Eating healthy choices "MOST" of the time and finding ways to move and strengthen my body. I keep telling myself that is the journey, but still, not so secretly, I want to change my appearance too. It will come, but I must stay true to my program. I chose it, it did not force itself upon me, I CHOSE IT!

So each day I am pushing to encourage myself to find ways to stay with the program. Move more, eat better, drink water. Sounds simple enough. So, today, I choose me, I choose to live the program, I choose to become converted to a better way of living. And if Chris was here today, I know he would say..."I CHOOSE YOU!" so I choose me too!

weight and measure day

Accountability can be dreaded or desired depending on which side of the line we are standing upon. If we have been true to ourselves and our goals, then this day is one in which we can proudly state "come what may and love it, if we have been less than true to ourselves and those goals then we may approach the accountability as a dreaded judgement waiting to see how far from the mark we have strayed. Me, today? Well, I didn't dread it but in all honesty, honesty to myself and those who are my cheer givers, I have not been strictly true to my program thus not honestly true to myself either. Some of those old weaknesses peaked in and I opened the door to them like they were old friends. Truth be told, they are not my friends, these old behaviors have no place in my new life and as I look back over the week, I can see that they do not support my goals. In fairness though, they don't hold revered places anymore like they once did; ( the shrines have been knocked down so to speak) so our visits will definately be shorter in duration, less intense because I have found better friends to turn to in need, and the frequency of visits have diminished. So all in all, I must say I am moving forward --boldly going where no Dessy has gone before!

Okay, now the numbers.  I am down one half lb, down 4 inches (the machine had a glich and said I had lost 3 inches in height as well); body fat down 2%, fat lbs down 4.4 lbs and BMI is down by 0.4 pts. All in all, a down day! Which means it was a Down week, which means I was truer to myself than I had thought! Can I do better, HECK YES! But, lessons have been learned and changes are being made, reinforcements are holding and the battle is still being fought. So to this day; I say "Measure, smeasure, come what may...and love it.

Back to the Gym

I've been absent from the gym for several weeks, wedding, trip to Florida, trip to Texas, infection in leg, sick from medicine to cure infection in leg, bla bla bla...at any rate, today I went back. My good gal pal who is doing the buddy system with me said she was going back so I decided I needed to make friends with the place again too. We walked up together (that is always my favorite part, being with my friend!) and back and while there; we went our separate ways to do our own things. I was feeling pretty good about my treadmill progress so I figured I should be able to crank out 15 minutes on the track with no trouble. I walked the first half to get the feel of it, plugged in my earphones and started chugging away. I made it around 2.5 times before this guy (old guy...about my age!) walks past me. WALKS past me and leaves me in his dust. Not to worry I told myself, I could walk too if I wanted but I wanted to jog and that is what I am doing. Only one foot on the ground at a time, that is my definition of jog! Then another person zooms past me followed by another. Finally after going around the track one more time, I slowed to a walk. That is pretty sad, my walk wasnt really that much slower than my jog. I went on to the circuit of weight machines and then one more lap around the track, walking. I felt a little deflated. Although, I did make it for 10 minutes of my 15 minutes so I guess it wasn't all that bad for my first public outing as a "jogger". I know that if I keep going I will eventually be able to zoom around the track like those other gym goers and I dream of that day. I know it will happen, until then, I will just be the albatross that clomps around the gym, steadfast and true just like that little engine who climbed the hill. "I think I can, I think I can, I T H I N K I C A N....

Endure

This week is my 15 minute jog week. I made it to 3/4 mile today and felt pretty good about myself and the accomplishment. Clearly I am not burning up the pavement yet and I may never get to that status, but I am 3/4 mile further on my journey than when I started. I am one month into this journey and there have been several distractions along the way. Distractions are not always evil or unwanted, they just distract us from our target. Distractions can be short moments of appriciation or they can be stop dead in the road occasions. These distractions can also come in a form that takes us off the path to a whole new destination or back to an old way of life if we are not vigilant in our efforts to reclaim our goal. We can choose to learn from them or we can choose to let that opportunity slide by in ignorance. I chose to look at my distraction and evaluate how it can work to my advantage. I know there is always a solution if we are really intent on accomplishing something and the people who love us will rally around us and cheer us on too. So; no matter the distraction that comes my way, I am still committed to completing my course! I will endure to the end.

Flynn or Eugene

Yesterday while I was visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Calabash, the topic of Disney dopplegangers came up. Mr. Calabash was aware that our family was known to choose one of the "royals" that we most identified with and assume a shared identity with that character. He mentioned that he fancied himself as Flynn Rider, dashing young hero who may be just a bit outside of the law, but big hearted. We chuckled along with him, talked a bit more about towers, castles and fiinding our dreams then we went our separate ways to get on with our individual tasks for the day.

It has stuck with me though. Who are we really? We aspire to be whomever we have the audacity to be. Don't we try to emulate those whose character qualities are such that we admire? Don't we work to look like the kind of people others would feel safe around and open for conversation? Haven't we been told that we should shake off the flaws that cumber us and embrace better ways? Yes! Of course!

At this stage of the relationship, I don't know if the statement he made was just in jest or if there was some underlying desire to fit in with the clan. If it is the latter, then welcome aboard. We welcome you with open arms and are glad to have your richness of character joined with ours. If not, well, it was good to know that we are recognized for our desire to look for qualities that can help us find the royal inside us and magnify it along our lifes' path.

Come what may and Love it

Some years ago I participated in an art class held at the local college. Our assignment was to do a self portrait. As I worked on that portrait, I channeled all the hostility, self loathing and bitterness I was feeling about myself into that painting. I guess it was sort of a reverse Dorian Gray moment. Even the teacher commented that while the picture had a likeness of myself, it certainly wasnt complimentary. I took it home and my children saw it. One daughter remarked that I must have been having a really bad day.  I guess I had been, but until that moment, it hadnt occurred to me that I was taking it out on myself.

In a General Conference address years ago, Elder Worthlin made a statement, "Come what may and love it". That sentiment has hovered over me like a protective umbrella. It reminds me that no matter the situation or the choices of those around me, life is going to happen. I can choose to love where I am, move or wallow. The choice is mine to make and once made; the attitude that follows is also mine. So, with that said, I will report the results of this weeks weigh-in.

I am down by 4 lbs, yes, good news! But the picture gets a little frazzled after that. Since I do my weigh ins at the university gym, the biomeasure scale gifts me with additional information. My lbs of fat increased from 87.7 to 101.1--that is a 13.4 lb increase. Also, when I did my body measurements I had gained 0.5 inches. Those numbers are not deal breakers, and it just reinforces the fact that I need to be more careful on my plan. Having guests in the house has shaken my resolve to exercise and eat the 5 meals as prescribed. I have seen others fight this fight and lose to this stumbling block. I never thought I would join them, but it just shows we are all in the same boat so to speak. I watched them overcome and I will overcome as well. I can see myself in my minds eye and I am slim and healthy. So I am working to keep my eye on the prize. I plan to say to these "hurtles"... Come what may, and love it!