What does that mean exactly? I'm not sure. I know that I hide, or want to hide when trouble comes visiting. I tend to sit on the sideline and observe the action when I feel threatened and that is an all consuming behavior when it happens. I pull in emotionally and physically during times of stress. I guess it would be correct to say that I hide in small places, secure in my ability to protect my most vulnerable parts. And it would be logical to state that in such a tight place, the ability to stretch out and move is greatly inhibited. Therefore, once the threat has removed, the coming out and resuming of life can once again return but it does take a bit of time to get the kinks out from squatting in that safe place for so long.
So, I am out. I went to the gym today. I weighed and measured and was pleased to see that the damage was not so great as I had feared. Over all, when I last measured, I had lost 11 inches overall and 7 lbs. This little detour has cost me a 3.3 lb gain and 6.5 inches.
Sometimes it just feels like I am fighting myself. So many things I want to do are just harder because of my girth, yet, reducing the girth is such an uphill battle I wonder if it is even possible to win.
BUT, whether it is possible or not, that is my lot and I have determined to persevere in the course at least for this year. I will get back on that blasted horse and I will ride it til next September and we will see what the journey brings. It is still my journey and I am still committed to taking it to the end, just the way I planned it. I will do the program and all I have promised to do because if it is to bee, it is up to mee!
